Vocal Anorexia

This article was written by me last year, but I have decided to reprint it here for your comments! So comment, already!

We know what Anorexia looks like, right? A 5'4" woman, weighing 80 lbs. will stand in front of a mirror gazing at her image and will see FAT! To her eyes, as she stands in front of the mirror, examining every inch of her body, her body weighs 250 lbs.

Anyone else; yes, ANYONE ELSE sees the reality of her weight which is 80 lbs. Her skeleton is clearly observed below the skin surface, which has such little mass, that to the objective observer, this woman appears malnourished and maybe even close to dying.

The only conclusion that can be drawn is that this woman is seeing a distorted image her body that no one else, I mean NO ONE ELSE sees. And that's her illness!

The cure, if there is one, is several weeks in an institution where the "patient" is taught to rely on AND TRUST what OTHERS are seeing, and not on his/her own reflection in a mirror. Once the patient is able to understand that her view of her body is not real, but distorted, then she starts to see herself through the objective eyes of those around her who are telling her the truth...the truth that she has not been able to see... that she weighs 80 lbs., not 250.
Well, how does this relate to what I call "Vocal Anorexia"?

"Vocal Anorexia" is a condition where a singer will hear the sounds that emit when he/she sings a song that NO ONE ELSE hears.

Take the case of the people who audition for American Idol.
They will sing...badly...excruciatingly AWFUL.

Simon will say, "Do you think that was good?", and they will reply, "Yes! I was great!"
But they were about as terrible as they could be. What's going on? The person is hearing something that is not real; sounds that objective listeners hear as unpleasant and even painful to hear. The only person who does not hear how bad it is is the person singing. And that's an illusion.

It takes hours, months, maybe even years of ear training for a person with this affliction to improve their singing. And I know this because I've had students like this in my studio, and believe me, they CANNOT hear how bad they sound. They remain under an illusion that they sound great...a false illusion!

By the same token, I have encountered numerous singers who will sing a song, and sound exquisite, simply wonderful. The vocal tone, the expression of the lyric, the entire performance could make one melt, but to the singer's ear, it sounds frightfully horrendous. If this singer is told how wonderful he/she sounds, it translates in the singer's brain as, "They're just being nice", or "They didn't hear all the mistakes, so they don't know".

The same inability of the anorexic patient to SEE what is plain as day to an objective eye is apparent here as the anorexic singer cannot HEAR what is clearly beautiful to the objective listener. And the cure, if there is one, is for the anorexic singer to hear him/herself through OTHERS' ears and not his/her own.

This takes discipline and a continuous inner conversation where the singer must repeat often,
"What I am hearing is not real. I will not judge my singing or rely on my own listening for it is flawed by my condition."

This is what Martha Graham was saying to her student, Agnes DeMille in her letter, and although I have referred to that letter many many times, it bears repeating here once again.
Agnes DeMille, for those of you who do not know, was the choreographer for the first Broadway production of "Oklahoma". She became so critical of her own work that she almost quit, but instead wrote to her mentor, Martha Graham, for some advice. And this is an excerpt of the note she got back. I strongly recommend that you read it SLOWLY, making sure you understand every word, especially if you feel that you may be one of those who suffer from vocal anorexia.

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

As always, your comments, positive or negative are welcome, singers!

It's Your Job!!

Gads! I can't believe it's been an entire month since I lasted posted to my blog!

To my newsletter readers, so sorry for the delay in posting this article, but I've been wrapped up in this Boundless Living Challenge, and it's having an incredible effect on me. But that's another article altogether. I'll be able to tell all the details after the challenge ends on Sept 2.

Meantime, here's todays article, just a couple of weeks late...


It's Your Job!
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As mentioned above, I am involved in a project with about 5600 others online. We are each discovering things about ourselves and seeking ways to have an impact on the world we live in. What I am finding out about my self and my motivation is charging my spirit with all sorts of new ideas for the future.

As I write this, I am acutely aware that some of what I am about to talk about with you guys will be received by you in a variety of ways.Some of you will think, 'Yeah, she's right. It's exactly like that', while others will disagree totally.

I suspect that most of you will be somewhere in between because as artists we are fairly, if faintly aware of what goes on behind our eyes, and in the deepest part of ourselves, even those parts we keep hidden from the rest of the world outside of us.

That being said, I start by saying that I believe we human beings come into this world each endowed with certain gifts. Some of us discover very early on what those gifts are, and for some of us, they can take a lifetime to reveal themselves. While others may never find them, many will discover their gifts in the latter period of their earthly experience and wonder why it took them so long to see them.

Well, duh...it takes as long as it takes for each individual rose to blossom.

One thing IS certain though, and it is that every one of us DOES have gifts, and from my view, our only job on earth is to use them for good.

I have spoken to you guys about this before and quite often I know, but while I was researching material for the 5th eBook, I came across some quotes by musical artists that truly touched me very deeply. When I tell you people that your gift of song can heal the planet, I'm not just being dramatic. I'm dead serious about that. What's wrong with the planet is from my perspective really quite simple to diagnose. We are lost! And we are standing at the top of a hill, looking down into a valley, thinking, 'is that the way...there?' and suddenly, we hear a small voice, behind us, like a child, and turn to look at it and THAT's when we see the road back. And the voice was our own...inner child calling us back to LOVE!

All we needed to do was turn our heads. But we are so preoccupied with day-2-day survival game we are forced to play on this planet, that we cannot appreciate the value of LOVE, and that's what music is, you know...LOVE.

"To sing is to love and affirm,to fly and to soar,to coast into the hearts of people who listen,to tell them that life is to live,that love is there,that nothing is a promise, but that beauty exists, and must be hunted for and found."
Joan Baez - American Singer/Songwriter

Do you think that human beings who are feeling that kind of love would be interested in raging wars for profit?

"When I am singing, I am inside of it...I feel, oh, like it feels when you're first in love, when you're touching someone--chills,things slipping all over me...A lot of times, when I get off the stage, I want to make love"
Janis Joplin - American Blues Singer

Would a CEO feeling like that create a mission statement to lay off a million people just to make a few more dollars?

"Once I had a dream to live and love, and this dream became music.It touched all of the beautiful experiences I have searched for or known. Each sound was a color, and each color was a warm feeling, and my heart kept the tempo."
Les McCann - American Jazz Pianist

Can a person who understands this quote spend his afternoons spreading ugly rumors about his/her neighbor over the backyard fence?

"The funny thing about enlightenment is that it's like you're searching for something--say your hat--and you're tearing the house apart and suddenly you look in the mirror and you see it sitting on top of your head. Music is where I experience that. I'm in a flow, I'm in a zone, there's a definite shift in consciousness, without desire, without my ego, without me thinking, 'oh wow, I'm sounding great'. Just experiencing it as a flowing living moment."
Vernon Reid - British-American Guitarist

Can you recall a time in your life when you were so full of joy you wept? Was your ego involved?

"For a musician, music is the best way to unite with God". Inayat Khan - Indian Sufi Master

The Runner runs - and it becomes a prayer. For me, singing is my meditation.

"Music is the harmonious voice of creation.An echo of the invisible world [of spirit]."
Giuseppe Mazzini - Italian Patriot and Revolutionary

Singers - I encourage you to SEE your place in this miraculous creation!

"He who lets his breath, hence his life force,flow consentingly as a willing sound sacrifice from the depths of his body, sings his life;for singing means to affirm life,to free oneself, and thereby to bring happinessand prosperity to oneself, and consequently to one's fellow man."
Marius Schneider

This is the quote that gave me the name of my first website.

I have been literally singing my life since I was 3, and there is nothing I cannot endure as long as I keep singing.

How can I impress upon you people, the value of your gift for this planet?

How can I make you see that your voice + my voice + all the singers' voices can make so much music, that the entire earth will be continuously singing.

You can make this happen just by singing your song...making your own "sound sacrifice" to heal the hearts of a lost society. It's your job....TO SING!

Well, please do forgive my proclivity for phlolisophical discourse, but as Nietzsche once said,

"Has anyone ever observed that MUSIC emancipates the spirit? gives wings to thought? and that the more one becomes a musician, the more one is also a philosopher?"

Guilty.


I leave you with this final thought to ponder, and I invite you to leave your comments. I know you must have some remarks to make about my attempts here to stir things up in you.

Don't be shy. There IS a way to leave a comment anonymously, so go for it!

"Wherein lies the power of songs? Maybe it derives from the sheer strangeness of there being singing in the world...a mystery like mathematics, wine, or love. Song shows the world that it is worthy of our yearning, it shows us our selves as they might be...The mystery holds the key to the unseen...There are occasions when the bolts of the Universe fly open and we are given a glimpse of what is hidden...Glory bursts upon us in such hours, and reveals the radiance of singing."
Salman Rushdie - British Author

See ya, Singers!

Sin[g]cerely,

Chrys

Singers With Musicality

Singers with Musicality

I was overjoyed and totally delighted when I moved to Corpus Christi from Los Angeles to realize that I hadn't left everything behind. I knew there were going to be enormous changes that I would have to adjust to, and there have been to be sure. But one thing I still have here in Texas is Ovation TV.

I know it doesn't sound like much, and if you've never had the pleasure of watching this channel, you may not get what it means to me, but let me try and tell you anyway.

If you're anything like me, and you truly believe in your heart that the salvation of the human race lies in its art, then maybe you can imagine what Ovation TV has to offer. Masterpieces of Art, Film, Literature, Poetry, Opera, Jazz, Singing, Plays, Sculpture, Photography, indeed creation of any and every kind of art imaginable are represented, celebrated and encouraged on this station.

You can watch a play, a symphony orchestra, an opera, a jazz concert on one day, and a film on Dexter Gordon, Charlie Parker, Sylvia Plath or Martha Graham on another day. There is no end to to the glorification of art that goes from morning 'til night on this channel. And it was here that I encountered 30 minutes of this celebration last week on the life and music of Ella Fitzgerald.

Growing up in the canyons of New York City, my sisters and would often go up to the roof to escape the heat during the summer months, and I would always bring my transistor radio along to listen to my favorite station WNEW, where William B. Williams would teach me how to listen to singers, and not just listen...but analyze, appreciate... hear what the horns were doing, the bass lines, everything.

Frank and Ella were "IT" for me and were why I knew from very early on in my lfe, 5 or 6, that it would be my life's work to sing like those 2.

The short film showing on Ovation took the time to trace the history of Ella's rise to the top in the recording industry, but went further to explain, why she was adored and respected by her listeners and peers alike. One after another, musicians who had worked with her or just listened to her records, stepped in front of a camera and proudly boasted,

"It was her Musicianship"!

Now, Ella had a fluid, lush, pure, glorious voice, that warmed your heart when you heard it, and also could do anything on earth she wanted it to do, but here were these people saying, "It was her musicianship!"

Several of those interviewed from this film recalled that early on in her career, the bands she auditioned for didn't really want her. "It wasn't personal", one tenor sax player said. "It was that the guys in the band didn't hold too much respect for girl singers back then...well I guess it's the same today. You know, girl singers just want to be the center of attention and more often than not, their talent doesn't deserve that attention. But when Ella sang, not only could you tell instantly that she could hear every chord and every beat we were playing for her, she even made us look for better chords and beats to play just to keep up. She made us all better players!"

There were 2 current jazz singers in the film too, Dee Dee Bridgewater and Anita Wardell, who talked about what it means to sing when you know the music...ALL the music, not just the melody line, and how the whole band knows that you know it, and you know that they know that you now it.

That's a ride on a magic carpet, singers and it's woven from the golden thread of the singer's musicality.

Now you know I've talked about this before, singers, and I've mentioned with regard to eliciting respect from your fellow musicians, but after watching this film, I realized there was something else...something more I wanted to express to you about musicianship, (or musicality if you prefer), and it's this.

When you and your accompaniment (whether it's a full big band or orchestra or YOU playing for yourself) are in total synchronization, the performance is MAGICAL! It infuses YOU and the band and every person sitting in the audience. And believe me, there is no greater satisfaction than singing with a bunch of musicians who are feeling you and playing the best they can to make the whole thing sound wonderful. And you find that singers with musicality don't worry so much about drawing all the attention from the crowd. They are team players and every body knows it and respects it, just as all those guys respected Ella.

So when I try to encourage you singers to learn an instrument, at least enough of one to understand chordal structure and rhythms, I'm trying to show you that the more musicality you possess, the further you will progress with your singing.

Seriously singers, if you are dead on committed about working as a professional, you're going to have to have a "live accompaniment". You cannot rely on backing tracks indefinitely.

Measuring the quality of art!

I've been watching a lot of tennis this week! And I've noticed something interesting that I wanted to share with you.
Clearly one's athletic prowess can be objectively measured by numbers.
You win! Your ranking goes up, your income goes up, your endorsement opportunities go up, your popularity goes up. It's all measured by the stats.
It's like this in almost every sport, and when an athlete, whether a tennis player, baseball player, basketball or whatever, is winning, excelling at his sport...even HE or SHE must admit how good he or she is at it. Isn't that right? Ask Roger Federer, or Tiger Woods. Neither of these men who say that they are not great at what they do.

But artistic performance cannot be measured by statistical data, can it? Art is SUBJECTIVE!

Remember Andy Warhol's painting of a Campbells's soup can? It was highly successful, but even today, there are numerous people out there who do NOT consider it art, and therefore not worthy of artistic praise. And one may wonder what Andy was thinking at the time.

I point this out because we, as artists each need to get to the bottom of this goodness or badness, this merit or lack thereof of our own performances.
How can we measure something that cannot be scientifically measured? And how can we know when it's not up to standard without displaying it to a large group? How can we call something bad based on just our own opinion, formed by the doubts and fears we have inside? How do we measure the quality of art in any form?
Oh yes! We have "experts" to tell us what is good art and what is bad or inconsequential, sure! Well, I don't know about you, but personally I love the movies the critics hate, and I read all the books the book reviewers label as second-rate. Maybe I think that critics are self-imposed experts who don't know any more, (or any less) than I do, so I can make up my mind.
That's really the point.
With an art form, the quality of it lies in the receiver, the listener if it's musical, the viewer if it's visual, etc.
But rankings?
Isn't it quite possible for a singer to be at the top of his or her game in poularity and still sound terrible to a lot of people? Of course that's possible...and occurs frequently.
Whereas, if a baseball player is batting 400+ and has hit a gazillion homers, one CANNOT DENY the quality of that effort, and quite often even the person who's made it.
So tell me, dear readers....what say YOU about this theory of mine?
We've got 3 juicy topics going on right now and you are welcome to comment on all of them if you'd like to. So SING OUT!

Ugh! That sound is Awful!!

I hear it from my clients all the time, and many of my colleagues and friends as well. Even my own son, and my daughter too, complain to me about it. And yesterday, while recording a vocal guide for an original backing track I made for a student, I actually saw and heard myself vocalize an expression of loathing of my own voice.
And the moment it happened, I thought, "Aahaah! None of us are immune from this! Each of us, in one way or another, absolutely HATE the sound of our own voice."

So the question becomes,
THEN WHY DO WE CHOOSE TO ENGAGE IN AN ACTIVITY IN WHICH WE USE OUR VOICE MORE THAN ANY OTHER BODY PART?

I mean, if we hate the sound of our voice so much, why don't we just do things where we don't ever have to speak... and definitely not sing...like reading or something like that?

For me there are 2 answers:

1> We are programmed to be self-effacing, self-critical, overly humble, and non-threatening.
2> It's an ACT!

Before I actually elaborate on these concepts, I'd like your take. So whaddaya say? Take it away!!

Is the Ego a healthy thing for a singer to have?

Yeah, okay, I already have strong opinions about this, but don't let that stop you from voicing your own, okay?

I tell my singers, and they will testify to the never-ending diatribes that they have to endure from me, that the ego is the enemy of a true artist...that while you're up there thinking...

"Look at me, look, LOOK! See me, hear me, pay attention to me ME ME! Oh God, what's the next line? Should I go for that high note tonight? Do I have the strength? Oh Geez! They're not even listening....BLAH BLAH BLAH"

...you're losing them fast!

How can you connect with anyone with all that chatter going on in your head? That's your ego.

So I tell my students to stay in the present, and just communicate! Tell 'em a story. Pull 'em in. Be more interested than interesting.

What do you think? Do you think your ego is who you are? Is that where you get your individualality? Or does the creative part of you come from some other place?
G'head....talk to me.